Friday, March 27, 2009

How can I find out what I am?

I know I'm african american but I want to know what generation I am and what else I may have in me like indian or something and I need links to websites that may help me and I want a website that I don't have to pay for. Please don't give me a link to www.ancestry.com because I have tried it before.



My mother has a degree in genealogy. She spent 13 years looking up our family. My best advice to you, being African American, is to start birth and death records ( your public library, or census beurea ) to find out where each person was born. Start with your parents and work your way back. Only do one side at a time. As you dig farther back some records may not be available, depending on how far you go. Pay attention to name changes, weddings, births, etc. That should get you started. Being African American, it will get harder the farther back you go. Use surname websites (last name) to see the history of the family name as a whole. Not individual people. Please ask your librarian for help.




THe first thing you need to do is ask your relatives, and then if that didn't/doesn't help, you can go to google and type in the origin of your last name or whatever little peice of info. you get from family.




Ask family members on both sides or anyone that knows anything about you. Start with that.




Ask your parents. THEY should know.

Girls, a little help on this one?

Okay well girls seem to date me just to be dirty with me or have sex,all they go out with me is(I don't Wanna be arrogant)because they say I look hot and things like that. Some of the girls I have dated say that I am really nice and I have a cool personality, but I don't know...I'm dating this girl and I love her and she has said she loves me and were really affectionate together and we might have sex soon but I'm not sure if she is another girl like the rest or a girl that really wants a relationship?and if It helps we have alot in common oh and we agreed on to have sex but she has lately become more aroused weere together



Well, no girl can resist a good-looking guy--especially when he has the whole package (personality, brains, manners, etc.).





She sounds like a pretty good girl. Even though she's starting to get aroused when you're together, that just means she's connecting with you; emotionally AND physically.





Don't be afraid to take the next step with her. Just be passionate with her to show her that she's not just another girl. When you focus on her, she feels wanted & desired. After a good night with you; she won't be able to turn back & you'll have won her heart.





Good luck, bud!! Hope I helped!




well, some girls are kinda bad there but not all girls are like that. if you think that this girl could really like you then talk to her about how other girls played you and how you don't want this relationship to be the same way. If she truly cares, she will reasure you of her feelings. As for her getting "aroused", it might be her playful way of showing you that shes up to having sex. hope this helps!




girls have this same problem, I would suggest you hold off on the sex for awhile and really get to know this person. I dont know how old you are or anything, but like the saying goes only time will tell. Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, it should be something that happens when two people love each other and love takes time.


good luck to you!




wait awhile if you have doubts that she's not into you for the right stuff. it's not a bad thing to wait to have sex until you know for sure if she's there for more than just that.




After you do her for awhile her real personality will come out. That's when you need to decide. Always use protection.




If she really likes you then she'll wait on the sex thing if you make her...then you'll know if she's only after one thing or not




First of all, you don't need to have sex. WAIT til marriage. Go out with her and love her. After time and you are the right age and school behind you - then think about engagement.





How can you have respect for someone who has been "doing it" with others. It seems today that finding a girl who has not done it is very hard to find and Viceversa. But you will feel more special if for the first time together that you know that she has not done it with anyone else and she will feel that way with you.





Once you "do it" you lose respect for yourself and the person you are doing it to. AND how do you know they are not just using you for the "act". Be special!





Build on the relationship that you have. Really get to know each other and love each other. Love is a great thing and does not hurt i.e. cheating on each other, using someone, etc.





Waiting til wedding day is the best rout to go. You will feel very good about yourself and her.
ok..... me and a bunch of friends are going to the movies this weekend,,,and one of the ppl r going, is a girl that i like. they weird thing is....she likes it when guys dont treat her really nice..so basicly treat her like **** my friends said..iuno if im the kind of person that can be like that,,,,what do i do!?!?



If you pretend to be something you aren't, then what do you gain by having her like you? After all, she won't actually like *you* but the person you're pretending to be.





Be yourself. Act the way you always act. If she likes that, great! If not, she isn't the one for you anyway.




okay this girl is weird. If she doesn't like the way you are don't change for a person just because you like her. Be yourself and show her your true feelings. Maybe she'll end up liking you and a lot.




Trust me she will get hurt by these so called bad guys and then she will realise that that nice bot who liked her could have treated her right. Don't be that type of person, be yourself!




Dont do it


dont change yourself to be liked by others!





be yourself and if she dont like that its her problem


have fun




They're right treat her like a gentleman and if she doesn't like it than leave it at that

Is Junior Prom a big deal?

Hi, Im in high school & of course there is prom coming up !





I'm probably not going to go . I just don't think they are a big deal . I don't have a date & all my friends will have dates. I'll feel really awkward ..especially during slow dances..& I don't think there's a point of spending all that money when I'll probably end up regretting it & feeling stupid.





Of course there's a guy I really would love to go with but I don't think he'd ask me in 129309403294 years.





So.. what should I do ? Go or not ? My friend won't stop bugging me about it ( she has a date though).





Thanks !



Junior Prom is to enjoy your young life! How about you ask out that guy you like. Girls can ask out guys too! I've seen a lot of girl on Yahoo say that they would ask out a guy they like. I think you should go. Just enjoy time with your friends and dance with someone during a slow dance. Even as friends. Actually if yo don't go you'll probably regret that you didn't go. Prom is a time where you can just enjoy life. Go! and ask someone out to Prom if you're up to it.




....ask him. It's no big deal, But you should go

What would you do if the girl you are dating?

What would you do if you found out that the girl you are dating or the girl you are engaged was born a man.



if she was born a man then she is still a man and that would make you gay.




That is definitely big news. Something like that would bother me, although many people can look past something like that. obviously if you didn't know until now, it's not that apparent. I'd be more concerned with the secret part of it. did they tell you or did you find out somewhere else. You will need some time to digest this and sort out your feelings on it, but if it feels okay to you it shouldn't matter who they were, it's who they are now that you love.




That's a tough question. I guess it depends how you feel about that sort of surgery. Personally, I'm pretty sure that she should have told you before the point of getting engaged. That's a big truth to hold back on.





Basically you're dating a man, but with woman parts. How do you feel about that?




Omg, that's gross.





I'd dump this person.





I'd find it super disturbing that they didn't tell me in the first place. It kinda would make me wonder what else this person in hiding and how much I could trust them.





And think of it this way...


You'd be dating a guy who has sexuality issues.


And a creeper.




Run! She was born a man and that is kinda gay. I mean if you can get over it and accept the new he(r) then you are a bigger person than I am.




It depends on you if you love her or him then you probably need to stay with her/him. But if you not gay then you need to leave him/her.




LOL that would be weird..


but surgery is very advanced nowadays, so you shouldn't encounter too many problems. :D




I'd be indifferent.


I love for the personality, not the gender.




What the hell, then that is insane for a man to get married to another man. Gays?????




id be shocked, ask y didnt u tell me before, accept them for who they are and let it blow over but nothing we be the same again :(




Ahhhhhhhhh! Well if I were a man, that's what I would do.




I would get freaked out...come on your going to marry a man!




I would do "her" up the butt :).




.....id move to like another state

How can i get my parents to get me a cell hone (or at least pay for half?)?

i will not beg ( not that 'kinda girl), i am willing to pay half and give up half of my allowance a month.



you can't


In case you don't know the country is in a recession.


Be Thankful for what you have, including a roof over your head.





Sorry..




Have you tried just asking? I you are trust worthy and responsible they should have a problem with it. I the mom of a teen, and she has rules about her phone and as long as she sticks to them she can have it.




Why do you want a cellphone? Assuming you have good reasons, list them out and tell them to your parents and ask.





You can also do some of the research into phones for yourself. Figure out what you need (and realistically what you want) and exactly how much it'll cost a month. Doing all the research will help show your parents you are responsible and could help convince them to get you one. (I'd advise looking into some of the prepaid services as then there won't be any surprise bills at the end of the month).

How does a married guy break up with a secret, married Emotional Friend because he

I've never had full-on sex with the EF, so please no judgment.



Hmmm, that is a tough question...The thing of it is, its an EF...so, although ethically some may say its an affair none the less, some may perceive it as not an affair...If your truly concerned about her "emotions", the best way is to slowly back away...gradually so to speak so that she can kinda see the divide occuring yet its not a cold turkey feeling...eventually you just flat out stop all contact with her. EF's are tricky...Emotions run deeply, and your really cannot expect to be able to break things off and NOT hurt her, either way, your going to crush her...just being honest, not judgmental...BUT, you have to do what you have to do...There are no hard fast rules on this kind of thing...Sometimes people come into our lives for a time or a season, and then for whatever reason they are not there any longer. We all move forward and beyond. Its just the cycle of life. Hope it helps. Take care.




If you want to cut the ties with her completely, then it might be best to be as honest as you can with her. You could soften it a little by telling her your work and family life are consuming more of your time, especially if you want to keep her as a friend, but just cut back on some of the time together. I don't know what kind of person she is as to whether or not you should tell her you feel you're wanting too much from the relationship and you're afraid where it might lead. That might not work, as she may welcome the idea.




Why would a married guy be worried about breaking up with one emotional friend because he prefers another?





Not judging--just really want to know what you're worried about? That she might tell your wife of other EF? She cant seriously believe you two are a true item, and if she does---you havent been 'honest' with her.


Affairs of the heart are just miserable and why would you do that if you weren't having sex. Gee whiz, that's too much work, pal!




Avoid the grief, introduce her to someone new to take your place. Tell her you have to go to Iraq, or China, or your new EF's place. Tell her you've decided to become a raging drunk, a drug addict, a porn star (oops, better not use that one), or enter the priesthood.





Tell your EF you have ED and it requires medical treatment in Egypt.





or you could just be honest and say good bye




Honesty is the best policy, you'll always be respected for it!!!




just cut her off and move on,, there is nothing wrong with moving on


tell her that it is you not her




don't break up with her, just cheat on her.




Can't you make it "bleed it to death" ??





I mean lower your level of attention until she gets it?




gentle ha do like some guys i know the dissapearing act, like run away,,

Why is it that married women were more interested in befriending me when I was fat and unhappy?

When I was 30 pounds heavier, before I started a serious workout routine, married women used to take me to lunch and be full of sexual innuendo. Now I'm thinner, happier and nothing. Nada. It's not my imagination, either. Though the wife is much more interested.





(But was that really my goal in working out? I guess karma got me!)



I thought you were still getting interest from women, married or single. If you were getting more interest when you were heavier and unhappy, it was probably because they wanted to help you. Women can be nurturers and a lot of us like to help people. The fact that you were unhappy can be like a sexual magnet to some women. They want to be the one to make a difference in your life and give you a better outlook on life. With 30 extra pounds, you probably still weren't what most people would consider fat. They probably saw that as part of your unhappiness that they wanted to help you with. Also, some women like a little extra padding.


If you look great, are happier and more confident acting and looking, they may think that things are going extremely well for you in your marriage or that you're already too occupied with other women friends. They may be a little intimidated and look for someone who looks more like he could use some help.


Now, whenever I hear the word "karma" I think of Earl! But, yes, I think karma got you good!




Being seen with an overweight palooka is not going to get their husband's pissed off. THey can explain how nice you are and how nothing is going on and it is believable to their hubs.





A good looking guy with pythons for arms and a 46 inch chest is another matter. Indeed as the earlier answerer said much more dangerous to the marriage.




They're probably intimidated by you. You know, good looking guy with a wig, unbuttoned shirt down to his navel and 30 chains on his neck.




Maybe fat and unhappy men seem more in need of friends? Could be the Belushi syndrome or something. Fat means funny.





yeah, I dunno




you should be happy that your wife is more interested in you ,you should take advantage of it


your working out goal is good for your health,,




Because they felt you were safe because they didnt want you.


Now they might actually find you attractive and that spell danger.




i think they thought of you as their teddy bear!!




LOL.. because before, you were "safe".. they could flirt away with you and get their kicks, but they didn't see you as affair material.. now, you're looking hot and they don't trust themselves! ;~)

Im having lots of troubles with some friends and ex-bf... what do i do? plz...help!?

ok so about a month ago i told you about my bf and him cheating on me... well he thought i was going to break up with him...and honestly i fell in love with him and i loved him sooo much..he thought it would make it easier on me i he just broke up with me so he did :'( and the girl that he cheated on me with is now dating him. I still talk to him and she knows i still like (love!) him. She is telling him to stop talking to me and EVERYTHING!! it so annoying and she hates my guts. we even used to be like best friends. :'( omg i just wanna cry. but another person is his best friend and they act like cousins. but ever since we broke up she has haaaaaaaaaated me. we were deff. best friends too :( now all she does is make mean remarks and it bothers me. i just want it to stop. oh and the thing where his new gf is telling him what to do...hes following what she says to do. he didn't even talk to me once! (well at least today) but he ignores me alot and it makes me really sad. i just want her to STOP and accept that me and him can be friends..... im in LOVE with him. i want him back :''(



as much as id like to tell you to do all in your power to break them up, leave him what will appear to be a final note telling him how much you love him and all your feelings for him and how you love him so much that your willing to take him back after what he did to you. just open your heart to him and ask him what good can come out of a relationship that came to be through cheating and itll just mean she can do it to him anytime... tell him to think about that and how hurt you are and only he can heal your broken heart. tell him itll be your last letter and if he doesnt come back then you are sorry for anything you did to have caused this and that youll leave him alone now and you think its best if he doesnt talk to you for a while. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain with this. try writing poetry or music during this time and hanging out with friends and stuff you couldnt do when you were with him. as horrible as it seems, everything will work out for you in the end:) Im honestly so sorry that this happened to you and youll be in my prayers tonight even though i dont know you..




Okay... you need to move on. The people on his side are clearly on his side, and were never true friends.





You are starting to look pathetic and needy, and need to back off. Try finding new friends, and pretend that all of them don't exist. It won't be easy at first, but it's best in the long run.




dude, that sucks!!!!! im sorry i have no advise.

Does this girl like me?

Does this girl like me?


Recently She started saying Hi to me less but in gym I see her looking at me alot, .and recently when she says hi she makes her best friend say it to, also if she sees me talking with someone she will wait until I'm done and she will say she would of said hi earlier but didn't want to interrupt me,& when I walk bye her class she will call me and wave.





*I was at my bu stop one day and when she saw me she yelled my name so then I went to go talk 2 her , she then asked me if I get annoyed that she says Hi everytime she sees me and I said no its np. And when I got on the bus her & her best friend saved me a seat.





One day I passed by her two different times and both times 2 different guys had there arms around her. Then friday i was getting on the bus with my cuzin and i turned behind me and there she was with one of my friends but I kept seeing her looking at me by the reflection of the window. Then on the bus she was talking to my friend the whole bus ride but she would keep looking at me??





im thinking she doesn't since she hangs out with alot of guys.Plus recently I see this guy talking to her alot on her facebook so im thinking somethings gonna happen between them.





anywayz 2day I was walking 2 the bus stop with my cuzin when I heard my name being called and when I turned around she was in the car with her sis and her sis bf, her best friend, her friend's bf and that guy whos been talking 2 her alot on facebook and hanging out with. She yelled my name and told me to have a good march break. So Does Or Did She like me?



understand that girls love and need attention... all the time.


this will never change. they may need less as time goes on but they will always need more than us. they especially need attention when they aren't getting the proper attention or enough of it at home.





she likes you but probably no more than the rest of the guys she hangs around. even if she says she does. she just wants you to like and accept her.
Me and this girl like each other for sure, but her mom wont let her go out with anybody and go out secretly is not an option... please help!!!



if she can't go out on any dates then go to her house & hang out. get the parents trust and i'm sure they'll let you take her out in no time.




Sounds to me like a high school problem and that's okay. I would see her at school and be in that sorta relationship. Hang with her there and if your relationship blossoms then hold out for the day that y'all can go out without hiding anything. I would definitely not recommend doing anything that would drive a wedge between her and her mother...that's a wound that don't heal and someday the girl would probably hate for it. Just give it time and things will work out.




Ask her if her Mom will allow you to come to their house and watch TV or do homework together or just listen to music and talk. This should absolutely NOT be a bedroom visit and should be done when Mom is home. This is the way my sisters and I started spending time with boys. As long as you are polite and make your visits short, you can probable work this out with her Mom.




If she is of proper age then I would go to her mother and ask her permission to take her daughter out. If she still says no then maybe ask if you could join them in a family event like the movies, park, etc. That will show her mother that your interested in her daughter but at the same time respect her as her mother. Only if shes of dating age though!!




This would be extremely akward for you but you could talk to this girls mom. Give her your contact info and explain that you would get this girl home on time and safely. Start with a small date and work up. Like icecream in a public place. You would look responsible and mature for reasoning with her.




Try doing a group thing. It won't be one-on-one, but it's better than nothing. I know I'm still not trusted with a guy alone, not that I've done anything to have lost that trust. Maybe meet her mom, let her see what a great guy you are so you can earn her trust.




Well, the issue is between her and her mom. Try asking her if she could talk to her mom about meeting you. But if it's not gonna happen, then don't get involved any further. Maybe you could have a chance again down the road.




well maybe you should prove to her mom that you will not do anything to hurt her daughter and that you will treat her with respect. show the mom that you are sweet and caring.




Well, First of all is this girl 18





I think not so you should respect the girls mom, and don't try to push your luck.


So wait, if you love her that much I'm sure you can wait until she's 18.




Well you can try talking to her mom? Maybe once she gets to know you she can see that you really do care about her daughter?




If you guys really like each other than you guys have to be willing to wait.




There's no question here!


If you can't go out then you can't go out.


I don't get what you want help with.




let me guess your 45 years old and she is 14 years old




HIRE A HITMAN AND GET THE MUM TAKEN OUT!!!! THEN U WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE *****

Can I move in with another relative?

I'm currently 14 and I live in Ontario, Canada.





My parents are divorced and I only get to visit my dad 2 times a month. (Every 2nd Sunday)





I'm currently living with my mom and I'm planning on leaving my mom's place this summer once I'm done Grade 9. (I will be 15) I want to move to my Grandparent's place because my little brother has a restraining order with my dad's girlfriend and it takes effect for me as well because my mom made it to do so.





The restraining order ends this December so I will be going to my dad's once it has ended.





I know the legal age where I am to choose where to live is 16, but I'm wondering if I can live with my Grandparent's as long as both my mom and my Grandparent's approve my choice.





All help appreciated. :)



It depends on the wording of the divorce decree, and whether your mom will be renewing the restraining order. If your dad has joint legal custody, he has to agree also.





If the restraining order is no longer needed, your mom can ask the court to dissolve it prior to December.





Even though you can have a say in where you live at age 16, the court will still have to determine that that is in your best interest. It will be better if everyone agrees to a revised court custody and visitation order.




I CAN SEE YOU WANT TO GO TO YOUR DAD,WHATEVER IS GOOD,BUT IN ALL YOU ARE DOING,HOPE YOU KEEP URSELF VIRGIN TILL YOU MEET WHOM TELL YOU MARRY ME,AND TAKE U TO UR PARENT FOR MARRAIGE.AND HOPE YOU DONT COPY YOUR MOTHER AND DAD,FOR DIVORCING,MAY BE ITS NOT WORKING BETWEEN THEM.


LASTLY,MOVING IN WITH ANOTHER RELATIVE ITS SHOWS THAT YOU ARE A SHAMEFUL GIRL,THAT WANT TO BRING INSULT TO UR PARENT,THAT THEY CANT KEEP YOU.HUMBLE YOURSELF AND STOP WORKING UP AND DAWN,STAY WITH YOUR FATHER OR MOTHER.STAYING WITH STRANGE POEPLE,YOU MYTH GET DISVIRGIN BY THERE SON,OR BY THE MAN IN THE HOUSE,OR WHATEVER.STAY WITH UR PARENT.THANKS

I have a friend who is an a------- but really have no one else to hang out with. Any ideas?

Firsty: think, do you like this person at all? do they have any good qualities and things you like about them?


Because if the answers are no, you%26#039;re wasting your time, and you should try and make new friends away from this person; join a club of some sort, talk to more people, get a job, anything where you can socialise and are away from this person, so you can create a fresh start for yourself. I know it sounds hard, making new friends, but there are so many people who are like yourself, and if you persevere you will find someone who is a million times better.


If the answers were yes, maybe it is worth trying to sort out any issues you and your friend may have. Talk to him/her, and say you aren%26#039;t happy with the way they treat you etc, and say you want to save the friendship before it%26#039;s too late.


I hope i helped!




My idea is that your friend is an ******** and you have no one else to hang out with. ^__^ Umm...my advice would be to be the opposite of him and get friends through being nice. Or join him and be jerks together!! :] Yay!




Make new friends.It may be hard for you seeing as you only have one friend that is a @!%26amp;%* but it%26#039;ll be hard to get through the human world if you never learn




well if your friend or whatever did something that made you mad...you appearently dont need them..there is alot of people out there..so you don%26#039;t worry about it.. :)




have you told them they are an A*****? if so and nothings changed..go out and meet new people..make new friends..get a puppy and go to the park..do something




i would just ditch him




that says a whole lot about you...




make new friends. its not that hard ya know?


%0D%0A

Ok girls Fast or Slow in bed?

Ok kinda a personal question but girls if you and your boyfriend are havin some sex


do you prefer for him to go fast and hard or slow and gentle?


real talk





I personally like to do my girl both interchangeably



Hm, I like it when we go slow and gentle then hard and fast, it's more romantic at first then gets wild hehe!




It changes. If I want romantic sex, he'll go slow, but if I want rough sex, he'll go fast. He tells me he'll do what I want because he wants to make it all about me in the sack. I want it to be about him, too. He's such a gentleman. :) Love that guy.




Depends on the man and the mood. I say change it around, stay focused on your partner and ask if your not sure. .hey baby how would you like it? Im feeling hot n horny .. hard works for me!




i like both too. i like fast and hard the best, but slow and deep is great too.




start off slow and gentle and deep then get wild




both. feel her out. she'll show you signs.... at least she should.




slow and deep

Can I have some advice please :]?

Hi, I need some help- especially from boys !





so.. there's this kid I like in my school & we don't have any classes together. The only time I really see him is at lunch. He sits at the table behind me. How do I even talk to him or get him to notice me?





I'm not the prettiest person.. my confidence isn't that great .. but he seems like a really nice kid :]





So.. if anyone has any advice on how I can talk to him or something .. that would be really helpful :]





Thanks! & I'm in high school if that matters .



ok, I can see that you are sort of shy. Try to find opportunity when he is alone. Walk to him and introduce yourself. Try not to tell him how you feel about him first. Be his friend first as you have to understand his character and personality. You are a girl who have feelings too. Good luck in everything. Perhaps you can also ask him out to find out whether is he single or not. You must be brave. Chances don't always come.Grab the golden chance.




when you see him sitting alone walk up to him and ask him if you can join him for lunch if he says "yes" then introduce your self, ask him some questions but don't rush and tell him how you feel because you are stranger to him at first. next ask him if he likes anyone from your school. THE REST IS UP TO YOU!!!




well just go for it. Do not be shy guys like girls who are confident about them selves and its not always about looks so just be yourself. good luck




next time just walk up to him and ask him if you can join him for lunch...trust me it will work

Is she a true friend? Please give me some advice!?

Alright so I have a "best friend" and she really makes me mad sometimes! So yesterday she called me twice, when she was phucked up and high. She was hanging around these girls that get her caught up in these things, and she called me when she was at their house, and she was like " Hey mann I'm sooo messed up right now" andI was like " Okay well I have to go." And she was like "No dude, I want to fight with you cause it's really funnn!"


And me and her have only hung out ONCE this whole Spring Break. The rest of the time, she has been at the other girls' house!





Should I leave her as a friend, or keep her?


We have had sooo many memories together though, and I don't want to put all those fun times behind. But I just don't want to get caught up in drugs. I'm better than that!








:)


Thanksss! I'll choose a best answer!<3



I would wait until she gets dumped by her other friends then when she comes to you, she will be sorry and you should make her prove it to you. This is a good way to prevent that type of behavior in the future!




I would start ignoring her for a bit. When she's sober and back at school and the girls who just get her ****** up will get her in trouble and don't really care about her, she will see that she has lost a good friend and that's when you can say change your crazy ways

I feel like I need to hang everyday with my friend?

But then I do Getmad. But today I promised my husband the house would be clean when he came home from work. But I feel life is to short and I need to hang with friends before the weekend help what would you do. oh by the way we are both women and feel like were sisters thanks have a great friday



You just need to manage your time better. Yes friends are important but surely you don't have to spend ALL day with her. And if you do, ask her to help you clean your house. You seem to have a problem separating what you want to do from what you need to do. Cleaning the house is necessary and if you promised your husband you would he will just be upset when he gets home now. So you need to decide which relationship is more important, your marriage or your friendship. Now since you are saying "both are equally important" make time for both. Spend 3 hours in the morning with your friend, clean the house, spend the night with your husband. Problem solved!




Unless your going to die tommarow, you should clean up your house first. Perhaps you can meet up with your friend next time! After all, a promise is a promise, and you should keep it. Maybe every so often also, you can ask your husband from a break from work, but don't do it too much otherwise it might look like you love your friend more than your husband!





Hope you'll have a great Friday too! ^_^




Spend time with your friends but don't forget about the people who depend on you and love you. There is nothing wrong with squeezing in a little time for you and your friends.





<3 hope that helped




okay just clean up before you go out and tell your friends that you will talk or hang out with them once you finish the house

Iam friends with 2 people here is the question?

Can a person be friends with 2 people when they know each other? Like a mom and daughter. See I used to be friends with this girl for 4 years she even was my boss at work. Now I don't work and her mom is my friend also. I go for coffee allot to the mom's house. I like them both but now I like the mom better. The mom sometimes tell me she does not like her daughter which used to be my friend. Sometimes i cant stand her also. But sometimes after visit the mom I fill like she might tell her daughter what we talk about she told me she wouldn't but it scares me some. And also my friend the girl does not really hang with me like it used to be she has other friends. So I tell her mom I hate not being friends that we used to be . What should I do about this friend ship should I just do what I like or what you can tell me thanks for being so nice and helping me today



Well youe in a hard spot. You never get to pick who your friends are or become. Don feel guilty for being her friend with the mom. You have to ask why your friendship with the daughter feel apart. Was it because you became friends with the mom or something different? I had a similar situation and what I did is sat my one friend down which in your case would be the daughter and talk it out. Find out why you lost that friendship. In the end it comes down to you if youe happy being friends with the mom so do it. If the mom is your true friend she won tell her daughter what the two of you are talking about.




I think you should follow your heart. If you like hanging out with her mom and the mom likes hanging out with you then thats fine. If you want to hang out with the girl then hang out with the girl. I mean you only have worry if the girl hates you or something. It could get awkward if the girl sees that you're like BFF with her mom or something but then again, who cares? You should do what you feel like. You can't go wrong when you follow your heart!





<3 hope i helped




To have friends you have to be a friend. yes you may have many friends even if they do not get along with each other. Be an example for peace.

How much you know about LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP?

Tell me what you want.


Love or Friendship, friendship or love.



I don't know that much, but I have my whole life to experience it.





In my opinion, love should include friendship.

Relationship Troubles Please Help!?!?

My Boyfriend and I are on a break for mistakes I made, He broke up with me once before because I did it.





I guess it's because I would get mad when he went to go do things, and get mad when he talked to other girls, and the fact that he thought I didn't trust him. I kept making the same mistake.





Since he has gone away for medical reasons, I haven't really be able to talk to him, because he been gone a lot, and in a lot of pain.





But I still love him, and have feelings for him, I have no clue how he feels, but I do want to be with him.





We've been on a break for about 26 days, I texted him awhile ago and asked if this break could be over, he said he wasn't sure, and we'll talk about when he's in better shape.





But SINCE hes been gone he hasn't been texting me back, but ignoring me.





I miss him a lot. And I know I messed up and I do need to change. If I loved him then I could do it.





Q. What do you think hes feeling?


Q. What should I do?





I just don't know whats going to happen, I care about him so much.



He's wondering if he wants to get back together with you. He doesn't think you're going to change, and if that's the case, then he doesn't even want to give it another shot. I get jealous whenever my boyfriend talks to other girls or decides to do something else rather than be with me. The thing is, I don't make a big deal out of it. We're human. We're supposed to be insanely jealous when we're in love. Whether you like it or not, you need to let it go. Don't get pissed at him for having a life. Don't be pissed at him because you're not his life, so to speak. It's okay to feel the way you feel, but that doesn't mean you should make a big deal out of it. I'm sure he knows how you feel, so you don't need to tell him continuously. Let him have a social life. The only time you are justified in getting mad at him is if he's fooling around with someone else. Right now, just leave him alone. If you talk to him, the first thing you need to tell him is that you only act the way you do because you're human. But, he also needs to know that you're going to chill out. You HAVE to chill out if you want your relationship to work. Then again, he may not be talking to you because of his medical problems. If he's in pain, the last thing he's going to want to do is get up and call you and deal with the stress of figuring out a relationship. He's trying to tackle one problem at a time, and right now, his health comes first. Good Luck! :)




Just give the guy some time to think about things. As you said he is away because of medical problems. I know that he is probably more along the lines of thinking about his health right now. and maybe with him not texting you for awhile, maybe that is a sign that he might have moved on but doesn't know how to tell you. Just , from someone that has been there, just give it a little more time. 26 days may seem like a lot but it is really not. Just be patient. If he truly loves you then he will call / contact you.

What should i do now that ive been flirting with her for like 2 months?

Yea so ive been flirting wiht this girl for like 2 months. Now she tells me she has feelings. It started out as mutual friendly flirting. But now shes telling me she has feelings and i have NONE for her.





What should i do? Would you want to date someone that had no feelings for you? What should i do? Should i just date her so she feels happy or whatever?



yeah you might get lucky and get a little somethin somethin out of it.




Do NOT date to make her happy. You would be adding fuel to the fire, and delaying the inevitable. Tell her you're sorry, but that you're just a natural flirt, and you flirt with a lot of girls. You didn't intend to get into a relationship. It's time she learns there's people out there who are flirts. She took a chance to tell you the truth, but now you have to tell her the truth too. Also back off on the flirting with her, it will hurt and confuse her, now just be normal friendly.




Definitely don't date her just to make her happy because that is just not right. I think you should tell her that you don't have feelings in that way for her. Sure you like her as a friend (if you actually do like her as a friend) but nothing more than that at this moment in your life. Maybe later on you'll think of her in a different way but right now things seem right when you are just friends.




No, you should stop flirting with her and tell her that you dont have feelings for her. If you dont say anything and keep flirting or you get in a relationship with her it will make things worse. She will like you more and more and it ill be harder to let her down easily. Do her a favor and let her know now. She will be sad but its better than prolonging it.




well its kinda dumb to flirt with someone that you cant see yourself dating


but we all've done it once before :P


try getting to know her more if you dont already


then if you see that you start to like her, go out!


if you see she's not your type, tell her that you want to stay friends




Be honest. If you do the opposite you will end up hurting her. If you're not interested in her just tell her politely that you're not. Don't drag her along to make her happy because when the truth comes out, it's going to hurt her badly.

Why is life so unfair??? Please cheer me up?

So my one friend who i love like my family the only guy friend i feel that way about, got expelled today for doing something very bad, and getting caught on camera this other guy did it with him and he only got suspended, and the other guy was the ring leader. My friend has got alot of detentions in the past but this other guy sells weed to students at the boys school (which is next door, the one they both go to) and the girls school (my school) but he only got suspended,, my question is why is life so unfair??





i feel as though my heart has fallen to my stomach,, like i'm crying right now for him and it hurts soo much and i know he's hurting :"(


he was in the head's office for 3 hrs and the teachers were apparently swearing at him,, please cheer me up?? i feel like hell :(



That's just the way things go you can't change the outcome. But I have learned that people do get paid back for the good or bad they do in life. It ain't always right away but it will catch up with him. You sound like a really great friend. The best way to help him through this is probably just to be there for him. Help pick him up when he has fallen and let him know how much you care for him. Show him love and understanding and it can't help but rub off on him. And you should both no that you are young and this isn't the end of the world. Everybody faces trials and tribulations in life. You've just gotta keep your head up and face em. I wish I had a friend like you.




GO TO THE NEW SCHOOL OR JUST CALL HIM ON PHONE




if he does drugs, then stay away from the bum! and life will BE MUCH MORE FAIR WHEN GET IS LOCKED UP IN PRISON FOR LIFE!!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Should I retire even if my wife says no?

Should I retire even if my wife says no?
I have worked for 32 years for Wash. State DOT and am70 years old. Will I live longer if I keep working?

You need to do what is best for you. Consider your finances. Would you be able to afford to retire? Do you have hobbies that you could give your time to such as golf, traveling or painting? Try to find out why your wife wants you to keep working. Is she afraid that you are not financially ready or will be underfoot? Communication could go a long way.

The answer is ok but will I live longer is still a question. Music, travel to China , my sawmill, learning Mandarin Chinese, playing piano- sax duets with my cousin are all in my hbbies list

When my husband said he was retiring I cringed, he's very high maintenance and I was already retired. I had visions of my days tied up taking care of his every whim. He's been retired for almost 2 years, has lots of activities, we do a lot together, and it's been great. Talk to your wife and find out if she's concerned about your finances or just having you under foot all day. Good Luck.

Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid?

Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid?

What is your opinion? If you love someone (ex family), but you keep feeling hurt from them, and tell them, and it persists, isn't it time to let go, move on and not say anything at all?
5 hours ago
Additional Details
All great answers so far.. however, I think it's been like this for years? I still love them, but truly feel as though I'm the black sheep and would rather be better off worrying about my own life instead of always being 'there' for them, when I don't feel like they are really there for me, no matter how much I try to keep things positive & communicate.
No, you should really sit and talk to them. Let them know that you're still hurt by their words and things that they do even though you're not living with them anymore. Letting things go is only a temporary fix for something that will get bigger and worse as time moves on. Get them to understand that what they're doing to you is wrong and hurtful. See what their reaction is. If you don't get the desired answer or reaction out of them, then you'll know that you're wasting your energy and oxygen on a hopeless cause. In actuality, the desired action or answer may not come for a while. You have to have patience for these kinds of things. Family is a sensitive thing. You don't want to burn the bridges before you try repairing them.

Awesome response thx. Although, I think that there are personality differences, and no matter how much people try to sugarcoat things, some people just will never get along no matter how much the sit down and try and have a *talk.* I still respect & love ppl 4 their differences tho. =)

Not knowing the situation that caused the pain, I would say let go. If you keep holding on to the thoughts that cause the pain, the only person you are hurting is you.

If you can not, then avoid the person.

No if you keep feelings unsaid, you'd be living a lie to them. Its not fair for someone to not know the truth. And it will be on your conscious all the time.

you have a life, go live it and stop worrying about the past.

What do I do? Boy problem!!!!!!?

What do I do? Boy problem!!!!!!?

Alright so me and my current i suppose lover met last two years ago in nyc anyways we sort of kept in contact through iming and some times talking on the phone. We would talk about everything and anything and he would always give me advice with the guys. then when i went to go visit my future college we saw each other and went on dates. I liked him alot, he was funny and sweet everything I wanted and I had a crazy attraction to him( he does extreme sports).
When I came back for orientation are connection got stronger and the whole summer no matter how many hot guys were around me all i could think of was him. Then when I finally moved it seemed something had changed he was really busy with his last semester and well we basically just had sex all of first semester the little bit I got to see him. I partied alot and he knew it. It seemed like everything was going odd with us. After winter break I told him I didnt think we should see each other again, he flipped apologized and then promised he would try more. We have hung out 3 times since january partially cause i was busy or not away and had the flu. I love being with him and the sex is great....yet resently i found something a tad disturbing i got on his fb and saw his inbox without him knowing and he kept asking girls if they were single and wanted to hang out. Im not like furious i know we are not together and i know he flirts but something about this seems wrong. I should not judge cause I have seen guys on the side too. But I dont know whats going on with us anymore.....im sooo confused at this whole situation......I like him i know i do because i cant drive myself to not see him and we still talk all the time and i miss him, and think about him all the time still even when i am partying. What do i do? What is this situation called? Help general advice!!!!!!

he sounds as thoe he likes you still but maybe to him he thinks your not interested.. so he wants company from someone elss .. he couldn't be serious if he is asking about single chicks the just wants the company from those girls..

since your not in a relation ship he isn't tied down , you could ask him about a relationship...

Confront him about it. just call him up and tell him how you feel. it should make you feel better, because it will get a lot off your chest, and maybe make you stop guessing about whats going on in his head. tell him how you feel, and just let the guessing stop

If you are jealous, I think this is a sign that you have feelings for him. You need to let him know this, and maybe you should consider having a serious, exclusive relationship together.

I think you should just ask if anything was going on and just confront him about it, do it nicely. Tell him that you don't really mind you just need to know. HOPE I HELPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )

U need Steve Harvey book "Think like a man act like a lady." it helps people just like you really understand guys. It seem like u a booty call

ooo double standards. ask him to move in or just keep it the same just don't get to attached, crazy!

I was in a similar situation. I used to have a friend or how i like to call him my sex toy all i did was think about him because we were rarely together but the days we were together they were the best times of my life. One thing i can say is that when people dont see each other much they seem to want to be with each other more, cause when your with a person day after day you grow tired of it. It's like you need your space. You probably dont even love him you just like the fact that he is still in to you

Is it hard for a married man to be in love with his wife and like someone else?

Is it hard for a married man to be in love with his wife and like someone else?
I am asking b/c ive been hearing MANY stories of this...and im referring to liking the other female to the point that he makes her his girlfriend.

Its extremely hard for me, when the love and happiness are extremely separated from each other, at far distances. Like for example: You may love your husband or wife, but there is very little deep happiness in the marriage. Where as I am much more happier with this other female friend besides my very own wife. The problem is being married for 15 long yrs and never could be able to share my deep happiness with her and with this other female friend, I can be able to share my deep happiness in life in general. It really sucks when both spouses are not on the same page with each other. I hope that other female friend will not get serious with me, because it would be a total disaster in my current marriage life. It really hurts when you are extremely happy with someone else versus being in love with some else. The last time I felt this extreme deep happiness was over 21 years ago with an awesome girlfriend of the deep past and I really missed out on that!
I need to explain this to marriage counselor again.

First of all why? did he even get married if he still want's a girlfriend so yes it is hard to care more for someone else other than your wife what is wrong with people these days.I'll bet if she finds another man and loves him more he'll be mad as hell so if wifey can do it then it's fair play.Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.
Oh, it isn't hard. There are times where you need something more in your life. Whether it is wrong or not, it is the truth.

you can't hold yourself back from "liking" someone but you can hold yourself back from cheating

That is asking for trouble. You cannot be truly happy causing misery to others.

Not only hard but extremely STUPID! That DOLT will have ROARING GUN SMOKE in his future trying to play the role...

Is it hard? I would think so.

Would you be mad if your spouse kept getting in little accidents with the car?

When we got married and moved acrross the country, I gave my husband my car (he didn't have one) for his job because he does sales and needs a nice reliable car for all of the traveling he does. We got me a 10 year old Dodge Durange because I stay home and don't need to drive a lot. But since giving him the car, 9 months ago, he has gotten in a lot of little accidents. For example, yesterday he was on the phone with one of his clients at the gas station. He forgot the pump was in still in the car and drove off ripping out the hose to the gas pump and breaking our tail light. Then today. He was closing the garge door while the back door of the car was open (an SUV) so it almost took off the car door and the garge door. When I get upset he laughs and says until he gets into a real accident, only then can I be mad. I feel like he obviously has no respect for the car, is throwing away money, and he is not taking it seriously. I really do not know what his problem is but if he is this absent-minded I feel that he shouldn't be driving and he definately shouldn't have a brand new car. If it was your spouse would you be mad??
8 hours ago
Additional Details
And no, I have never gotten a ticket, gotten into an accident, anything. And I wouldl ike to add that he's gotten two tickets in this time frame also.
8 hours ago
Part of the problem is that I don't work (I did up until my daughter was born) and he thinks that because he now pays for it it is his so he can treat it however he wants. So I can't really use money as the punishment because he is having to pay for it. Im more just worried that he'll get hurt or if he wrecks the car how will he make a living for our family?


Yes, I would be mad. That was MY car to start with, and I gave it to him expecting him to treat it well, and with respect.

Have you been in an accident like this? If not, I think you should get the brand new car, since you know how to treat your things, and he obviously doesn't.

I would be pretty upset. He needs to be more careful. He is not a child. It seems he might be preoccupied with something. Have another long talk with him about it and let him know that if there is another preoccupied mishap, he gets the clunker.

i would load the durango up with the best insurance and make him drive it. He is wasting money and causing you to worry. A major accident is coming and he isn't learning. He sounds very childish.

lmao..sorry i have to laugh..your husband certainly is absent minded...dear me..ripping out the hose to the gas pump.

Bless him..i would be aggigated but that is another tale to add to my book collection. ;-) haha
Your husband sounds irresponsible. I do not think there is much you can do to change that. You may have to just live with it, although it is most unfair. I think you have an unsolvable problem
Yes you should be upset because he needs to drive more carefully and pay attention and be aware. I WOULD GET UPSET.
No I be worried
Is he on any medication??
Yes I'd make him get an old junker to drive until he shows some responsibility
You better go run and knock on wood. When it's your turn I'm afraid, it's going to be a BIG WRECK I can feel it. The bragger get's the dead worm
I have to admit, I'd be annoyed. It's one thing if someone pulled out in front of him...or it was a parking lot mishap...but this would be too annoying. Not counting that it wouldn't be the best on my insurance rates.

If he's just gonna ding up the car, then let him drive the old one.

My ex had 7 wrecks in less than a year. None of them were "his fault", but if he hadn't been being a jerk, they wouldn't have happened. So, I know what you're going through don't know if mad is the word, I would be very concerned. He may be having absence seizures (research epilepsy), or mild narcolepsy. Can you get him something so that he can drive and talk 'hands free'? I would call and schedule an appointment for him to see a doctor and be certain to explain that you are concerned about the possibliity of mild epilepsy. They may be able to schedule an EEG to check for that on the same day.

If your husband resists the appointment you have two choices: do nothing and risk him having a serious accident resulting in injury or death to him or someone else or having him total the car... or ... you can put your foot down and threaten to call his boss about these minor accidents which are primarily happening on company time. Either way the ultimate decision is up to you. Personally, I would prefer his anger to a serious injury or worse.

Good luck and God bless you.

I would be furious. He obviously is a little bit immature when it comes to posessions and value. Start making him pay from his own paycheck to fix all of the little things he does to the car. Make him pay for the tickets and for the insurance premium (because it WILL go up if he has tickets).

He's just irresponsible and doesn't realize the value of things. Let him know how this is affecting you and tell him that he will have to start taking the Durango for a while until he can prove he cares about the value of a car.
He needs to focus on what he is doing. Him laughing about it is his nervousness about your anger. Try and be understanding with him, but tell him to start paying attention to what he is doing because you feel that he is disrespecting you. It's not fair that he is doing that to what you likely bought and payed for, but keep in mind also that you are married, you are a couple, what comes from his pocket also comes from yours in repairs and that's just the way relationships are. You can't be selfish, as hard as it is, and you have to be considerate, but so does he.

Mad, no, upset yes. If you are mad you have some other issues that are causing you to be that, but to be mad about something that is replaceable is silly. Sure you don't want any extra added costs and you don't want to have to replace the car but at least he's working and bringing home the bacon.. That's a lot to be grateful for today. I also used to get mad about little things until I had help in understanding how it was affecting my relationship and how in it's own way was petty. It was issues from my upbringing that had me go off that way. Now I can relax and even laugh at some of the small things, I feel better too.

Of course I would be mad, had he not laughed maybe I would have let him go about his business and just consider him accident prone. But he thinks it's all just a joke and that would make me livid. He doesn't consider the damage he did at the gas station serious? It was more then just absent minded, it was irresponsible. He needs to start acting like an adult and take care of the only car he has thanks to you. I'm sure he knows money doesn't grow on trees and there are lots of people in this world that have to walk or take the bus. He is lucky but he has this "I don't care attitude". That would be the last car I ever give him.