When we got married and moved acrross the country, I gave my husband my car (he didn't have one) for his job because he does sales and needs a nice reliable car for all of the traveling he does. We got me a 10 year old Dodge Durange because I stay home and don't need to drive a lot. But since giving him the car, 9 months ago, he has gotten in a lot of little accidents. For example, yesterday he was on the phone with one of his clients at the gas station. He forgot the pump was in still in the car and drove off ripping out the hose to the gas pump and breaking our tail light. Then today. He was closing the garge door while the back door of the car was open (an SUV) so it almost took off the car door and the garge door. When I get upset he laughs and says until he gets into a real accident, only then can I be mad. I feel like he obviously has no respect for the car, is throwing away money, and he is not taking it seriously. I really do not know what his problem is but if he is this absent-minded I feel that he shouldn't be driving and he definately shouldn't have a brand new car. If it was your spouse would you be mad??
8 hours ago
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And no, I have never gotten a ticket, gotten into an accident, anything. And I wouldl ike to add that he's gotten two tickets in this time frame also.
8 hours ago
Part of the problem is that I don't work (I did up until my daughter was born) and he thinks that because he now pays for it it is his so he can treat it however he wants. So I can't really use money as the punishment because he is having to pay for it. Im more just worried that he'll get hurt or if he wrecks the car how will he make a living for our family?
Yes, I would be mad. That was MY car to start with, and I gave it to him expecting him to treat it well, and with respect.
Have you been in an accident like this? If not, I think you should get the brand new car, since you know how to treat your things, and he obviously doesn't.
I would be pretty upset. He needs to be more careful. He is not a child. It seems he might be preoccupied with something. Have another long talk with him about it and let him know that if there is another preoccupied mishap, he gets the clunker.
i would load the durango up with the best insurance and make him drive it. He is wasting money and causing you to worry. A major accident is coming and he isn't learning. He sounds very childish.
lmao..sorry i have to laugh..your husband certainly is absent minded...dear me..ripping out the hose to the gas pump.
Bless him..i would be aggigated but that is another tale to add to my book collection. ;-) haha
Your husband sounds irresponsible. I do not think there is much you can do to change that. You may have to just live with it, although it is most unfair. I think you have an unsolvable problem
Yes you should be upset because he needs to drive more carefully and pay attention and be aware. I WOULD GET UPSET.
No I be worried
Is he on any medication??
Yes I'd make him get an old junker to drive until he shows some responsibility
You better go run and knock on wood. When it's your turn I'm afraid, it's going to be a BIG WRECK I can feel it. The bragger get's the dead worm
I have to admit, I'd be annoyed. It's one thing if someone pulled out in front of him...or it was a parking lot mishap...but this would be too annoying. Not counting that it wouldn't be the best on my insurance rates.
If he's just gonna ding up the car, then let him drive the old one.
My ex had 7 wrecks in less than a year. None of them were "his fault", but if he hadn't been being a jerk, they wouldn't have happened. So, I know what you're going through don't know if mad is the word, I would be very concerned. He may be having absence seizures (research epilepsy), or mild narcolepsy. Can you get him something so that he can drive and talk 'hands free'? I would call and schedule an appointment for him to see a doctor and be certain to explain that you are concerned about the possibliity of mild epilepsy. They may be able to schedule an EEG to check for that on the same day.
If your husband resists the appointment you have two choices: do nothing and risk him having a serious accident resulting in injury or death to him or someone else or having him total the car... or ... you can put your foot down and threaten to call his boss about these minor accidents which are primarily happening on company time. Either way the ultimate decision is up to you. Personally, I would prefer his anger to a serious injury or worse.
Good luck and God bless you.
I would be furious. He obviously is a little bit immature when it comes to posessions and value. Start making him pay from his own paycheck to fix all of the little things he does to the car. Make him pay for the tickets and for the insurance premium (because it WILL go up if he has tickets).
He's just irresponsible and doesn't realize the value of things. Let him know how this is affecting you and tell him that he will have to start taking the Durango for a while until he can prove he cares about the value of a car.
He needs to focus on what he is doing. Him laughing about it is his nervousness about your anger. Try and be understanding with him, but tell him to start paying attention to what he is doing because you feel that he is disrespecting you. It's not fair that he is doing that to what you likely bought and payed for, but keep in mind also that you are married, you are a couple, what comes from his pocket also comes from yours in repairs and that's just the way relationships are. You can't be selfish, as hard as it is, and you have to be considerate, but so does he.
Mad, no, upset yes. If you are mad you have some other issues that are causing you to be that, but to be mad about something that is replaceable is silly. Sure you don't want any extra added costs and you don't want to have to replace the car but at least he's working and bringing home the bacon.. That's a lot to be grateful for today. I also used to get mad about little things until I had help in understanding how it was affecting my relationship and how in it's own way was petty. It was issues from my upbringing that had me go off that way. Now I can relax and even laugh at some of the small things, I feel better too.
Of course I would be mad, had he not laughed maybe I would have let him go about his business and just consider him accident prone. But he thinks it's all just a joke and that would make me livid. He doesn't consider the damage he did at the gas station serious? It was more then just absent minded, it was irresponsible. He needs to start acting like an adult and take care of the only car he has thanks to you. I'm sure he knows money doesn't grow on trees and there are lots of people in this world that have to walk or take the bus. He is lucky but he has this "I don't care attitude". That would be the last car I ever give him.
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